Week 4

In response to the predictions of Tony Grossi of the Plain Dealer, available at cleveland.com/browns

I love Mr. Shaw's rationale.

Spread picks:

TENNESSEE -6.5 over Denver Chris Johnson 200 all-purpose yards reminds Josh McDaniels that Denver used to be a contender, and why.

PITTSBURGH -2.5 over Ballimur Ray Lewis's arthritis sets in and the Ravens "old school" D realizes that an 0-3 team just taught it last week that it's actually just an "old" D.

Cincy -3 over CLEVELAND An early turnover proves insurmountable as a new Browns unit--this time the secondary--makes great strides without the rest of the team, giving more hope but still no win. This also leads to a Browns win streak over the Steelers next week for the first time since God only knows.

GREEN BAY -14.5 over le Day twa In a high-scoring affair, ... wait, I can't beat: "Aaron Rodgers activates himself on his fantasy team." Especially since I have him active on my fantasy team.

NAWLINS -13 over Carolina Jimmy Clauses continues Notre Dame's rich tradition, paving the way for D. Crist to be the next Domer bust.

ATLANTA -6.5 over San Fran One day Michael Crabtree, Vernon Davis, Frank Gore, Alex Smith, and Mike Singletary are all going to have a good game at the same time. Today is not that day. Meanwhile, Atlanta realizes that Michael Turner and whoever else they feel like throwing out there can run wild--prompting NFL commentators to repeat the mantra that you can only win in the NFL by passing 35 times a game, and they even manage to convince themselves for one more week!

Seattle -2 over ST LOUIS Pete Carroll in his postgame news conference absent-mindedly voices his surprise at turning out to be as good a coach as he was a talent-recruiter.

BUFFALO +6 over New York Jets Buffalo gets to win one game per year against a good team--and they really hate the Jets. Rex Ryan is caught on network cameras during the game mouthing the words O-VER RA-TED at his own team.

Indianapolis -7 over JAX Peyton Manning and Dallas Clark break the record for QB-TE combo...but nobody sees it because the game isn't on TV.

Houston -3 over OAKLAND Houston vents a little frustration of their own, reminding Oakland that their run defense is terrible and that Arian Foster is the real deal.

SAN DIEGO -9 over Arizona Arizona just barely misses out on the huge upset when Derek Anderson throws a late pick to kill the drive... and then throws another one on the next drive... and then another one on the next drive...

Washington +5.5 over PHILADELPHIA The Michael Vick euphoria subsides as friends and foes alike realize that he just beat some of the worst teams in football, and the Redskins, despite being a terrible team, somehow always end up with 8 wins.

NY GIANTS -3.5 over Chicago Jay Cutler and crew come back down to earth when they lose a pitched sky battle with Tom Coughlin's buzzards, which peck out Jay Cutlers eyes even though he wears his helmet down so low that it covers them. Incidentally, the lack of eyes doesn't affect how many interceptions Cutler ends up throwing.

New England -1 over MIAMI When Wes Welker's surgically-repaired-but-rushed-back-into-service knee finally blows out (taking my fantasy team with it), Bill Belichick pulls a Pats Fan with a Troy Brown jersey from the stands--who actually turns out to be the real Troy Brown--and gets seven catches for 120 yards and two touchdowns out of him before cutting him to make room for the next practice-squad-turned HOFer in line, who shines in the Pats' offense next week.

Last week against the spread: 8 - 8.